Jasmine Hart

I like it, especially the last stanza. I'd suggest laying some of the lines out differently though; "By someone else For even I Am not really sure that I know ...

Hey Kit. The first three lines are great. I think the fourth is a little weak. I'm not sure about using "river" for blue, as you've already used it for ...

I love it, and your layout is great. I agree with whence about "picture perfect" though. I'm not really sure about "a bond of paper" though, it seemed a little ...

I'm not quite sure about this. I liked from "Man, his face set hard...family again". I liked the emotion there. I think you kind of flip between your registers a ...

Thanks for the feedback.

Hey guys. Thanks for the comments. Apologies for the typos, I'm not a great typist, and I was exhausted when I was typing this up, which really didn't help! Biancarayne-thanks ...

My mindset's clouding over, Sunless, smileless, weighted down. Fractured rays and cold cloud wisps Lie writhing on the ground. I'll take my bloody heart out And grant it boom'rang flight, ...

I think it's great. I especially liked the fourth stanza. I think I'd take the "every day" out of the second line though, as, since you've said "daily", I don't ...

I love it, but I don't liek the way you said "Hopefully not, cuz" as it seemed a bit too colloquial in relation to the rest of the poem. I'd ...

I like it, and I agree with kk and Kit. But I'm a bit unsure about the word "Little" at the end. I think I'd use something a bit stronger. ...

I think that was a little harsh. Stay with your theme, it's always best to write about what you want to write about, not what you think you should write ...

Dark-eyed aureate love descends From austere clouds I've never known, Weaving a framework of crakling flames 'Til my eyes flash and hiss with gold. But how long 'til a youthful ...

Hey, can I join this? If not, ignore my bio! Name:Brigid Age:21 Hair:Black and curly. It used to be really long, down to her waist, but she's recently hacked it ...

I like it, but I'd say, "It is all in vain," just so you're not switching between tenses.the present tense really helped the flow, and the last two lines worked ...

I can't believe you're 14!I thought you were older, you're wise beyond your years. I wasn't half as good as this when I was your age. You rock. I'd add ...